I was speaking with a client the other day. She was angry. Really angry. Nothing was working right, her bank account was fluctuating wildly, and she was working harder than ever. She had every right to be angry. For a very long time, she had struggled, hoping, praying and pushing through whatever came her way to be able to offer her services to those who needed it most. Except those who needed it most didn’t know she was there.
She didn’t have a marketing problem, a sales system problem, a follow-up problem or a technology problem. Nope, none of those. It also wasn’t that she wasn’t qualified, smart, knowledgeable and could solve a problem quickly and expertly for her clients. She was all of those things in spades.
So what was the problem? She was doing work that she didn’t like to do, telling herself that she liked it. In short, she was lying to herself.
“Get mad,” I told her. “You’ve been doing all this work, having no fun and even though you’re making money, you’re not happy. . You have EVERY RIGHT TO BE MAD!” I said, my voice level matching hers.
“ARRRRGH!”, she said. “I HATE THIS!”
“BRING IT ON!” I replied, excited that a breakthrough was about to happen.
“I GIVE UP!” she said, followed by a huge sigh. And then silence. And then tears.
A breakdown, followed by an amazing release. She was about to have an epiphany. The struggle was ending.
In less than 15 minutes, after finally letting go of years of “trying”, she discovered that all of the pieces of her “puzzle” were there and had been for some time. We redefined who she really was, what she really wanted to do, and within 5 minutes she had a brand new business plan and clarity for the first time. It had taken us 6 months to get to this point, and I was thrilled for her.
It is very human to struggle and release, struggle and release. The thing is, the world we live in is moving much faster than ever before, so we must move faster than ever before. We must cut away what isn’t working, people that aren’t serving, relationships that are difficult with love and kindness to be able to serve our mission here on this planet. Now.
Here are 5 steps to start to let go so you can leap forward.
1. Admit it. It’s not working. Simple in its definition, now it’s time to execute it. Consider what’s not working in your life. Now.
2. Decide whether to change, restructure or eliminate things. Evaluate relationships with your customers or clients, family, friends, significant others, environment – in short, everything.
3. Make a plan. Do NOT try to tackle every area of your life simultaneously. Most of the alpha men and women I work with dive right into transformation like it was a project to somehow be completed in a 6 month time frame. Transformation is a way of life, a lifestyle and a lifelong journey. One thing at a time is good.
4. Act Quickly and Swiftly. You’ve been frustrated long enough. Take massive, fast precise action. Make a list and make it happen, like a surgeon.
5. Get help. You won’t like this, but you’re not superman/woman. Though you may wear a cape and take charge of everyone and everything around you, when it comes to you I can almost guarantee that you’re not doing it for yourself. (Hey, it takes one to know one). I surround myself with many mentors, advisors, behaviorists, coaches and friends who all offer the support and guidance I need, even though I’ve been on this journey with eyes wide open for a very long time.
You can do it. All is going to be well. I promise. Jump in without ego. Forget about what you think you “should” do or what other people will think. Tackle it head on and you will soar. Ignore it and you will struggle.
This is a process I’ve personally used in my life for over 25 years now, and I can tell you it absolutely, positively works – IF you are being honest with yourself. That’s really all it takes is respect for the most important person in your life – YOU!
I believe in you,
P.S. Need a push? I’m here… http://www.StephanieFrank.com
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